Ket tells Kim about the 1972 Christopher Lee/ Peter Cushing team-up, Horror Express. It also stars “The Cheshire Cat” from the 1985 TV Movie Alice in Wonderland, much to Ketryn’s delight. The girls coin a new term that will, undoubtedly, be used by and to describe Ketryn often: “hearthbagging.” They also determine that Satan has also read Neil Strauss’ early-aught bestseller, The Game, to neg monks. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die on the Horror Express.
Dir. Eugenio Martin 
Writers Arnaud d’Usseau, Julian Zimet
Kim tells Ket about Lucky, starring Brea Grant and directed by Natasha Kermani. The girls get real about where they would truly find themselves at the end of a horror movie. It’s not “dead” but it rhymes with “my me mu.” They also determine their social anxiety safe word. So put up your devil ears and let’s get Lucky. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Lucky.
Dir. Natasha Kermani
Writer Brea Grant
Ket tells Kim about the ridiculous and delightful 2004 romp, Club Dread, starring Bill Paxton, Britney Daniel and the guys of Broken Lizard. The girls ponder the intricacies of nipple play. They decide to team up to do their haunting and run into yet another homonym problem all while watching this remake of John Carpenter’s The Thing. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Club Dread.
Dir. Jay Chandrasekhar
Writers Broken Lizard
Kim tells Ket about the Shudder original, Anything for Jackson, starring Sheila McCarthy and Julian Richings. Ketryn contemplates what she’d ask the Devil to grant her, if given the opportunity. Spoiler alert: it’s crows. An army of them. Kim embodies the algorithm robot for a short time but is back now. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Anything for Jackson.
Dir. Justin G. Dyck
Writer Keith Cooper
Ket tells Kim about Lights Out, starring Teresa Palmer, Alexander DiPersia and Maria Bello, based on the short film by David F. Sandberg. Ketryn denies claims that she beats Kim with a switch for each point she does not get, despite Kim’s panic over the score. They determine the 3 most important times of day and Ketryn is forced to relive her most embarrassing moment to date. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Lights Out.
Dir. David F. Sandberg
Writers Eric Heisserer, David F. Sandberg
Kim tells Ket about the Dread release starring Chet Siegel, Ruby McCollister, Jeff Riddle and David Littleton, Uncle Peckerhead. The girls deliberate on what time of day it is or is not appropriate to eat Metalheads. Kim sets Ket straight on which of them is more likely to be “stand-down-McClaned.” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Uncle Peckerhead. 
Dir. Matthew John Lawrence
Writer Matthew John Lawrence
Ket tells Kim about the new release starring heartthrob, Devon Sawa, Hunter, Hunter (canvanow on Hulu.) Ketryn has a very specific ulterior motive for doing this one besides just wanted to watch bear Daddy Devon. The girls also learn about which animals just love to catch a sweet summer tan on their beach bods and where is and is not Kim’s kitchen. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Hunter, Hunter.
Dir. Shawn Linden
Writer Shawn Linden
Kim tells Ket about Oculus starring Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Katee Sackhoff and Lucas from Empire Records, Rory Cochrane. Ketryn goes all Peter Pettigrew on us and Kim contemplates what she wants written on her epità while Ketryn is more concerned with what she wants on her epitaph. We also learn that Kim may be dealing with an Oculus situation, given her rowdy mirrors and dead plants. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Oculus.
Dir. Mike Flanagan
Writer Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard
Ket tells Kim about The House on Sorority Row starring Eileen Davidson and Kate McNeil. The girls relay the powers of Carol’s post-it to their Sammies. They both attempt to learn the return policy for people. Kim plays an entirely different movie in her head with a marching band and murderers IDed by their Ann Taylor Loft clothing tags. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The House on Sorority Row.
Dir. Mark Rosman
Writers Mark Rosman, Bobby Fine
Kim tells Ket about Attack the Block starring John Boyega, Nick Frost and Emily Mortimer… I mean, Jodie Whittaker! Demon Jerry stops by for a quick chat. The girls contemplate their sidecast honoring My Cousin Vinny. They also establish a very important friend rule: never cry alien. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Attack the Block.
Dir. Joe Cornish
Writer Joe Cornish
Ket tells Kim about Antebellum starring Janelle Monae and Jena Malone. Ketryn takes a stand about the type of movie she wants to do for her next episode and Kim finds herself, yet again, covered in creepy crap. They also cover things that were and were not invented during the Civil War and both girls convert to the church of Gabourey Sidibe. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Antebellum.
Dir. Gerard Bush, Christopher Renz
Writers Gerard Bush, Christopher Renz
Kim tells Ket about the 4th installment of Freddy’s nonsense in honor of Arik’s belated birthday! It stars the poor man’s Patricia Arquette, Tuesday Knight and, of course, Robert Englund. Kim expands her folly repertoire with a spot on impressions of knife fingers stabbing into flesh. And Ketryn tries to “out Freddy” Freddy. It goes… poorly. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.
Dir. Renny Harlin
Writers Wes Craven, William Kotzwinkle, Brian Helgeland, Jim Wheat & Ken Wheat
Ket tells Kim about the real-life horror of Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman starring Carey Mulligan, Bo Burnham and Laverne Cox. What an episode to close out #WomenInHorrorMonth! The girls then discuss this timely masterpiece (yeah, we said masterpiece) with the Mother of Uterus Horror, herself, Molly Henery. The girls get their second dose in a row of their beloved Adam Brody being a real douche and they also have one of the most important discussions they’ve ever had on the show. I’m not going to lie… we are really proud to put this episode out into the world. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Promising Young Woman.
Dir. Emerald Fennell
Writer Emerald Fennell
Kim tells Ket about the 2009 Jennifer’s Body starring Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried and Adam Brody. After that, the girls fangirl out over getting to talk to Caitlin Durante of The Bechdel Cast Podcast. The girls revisit all the bands they boned in 2009 and all the bandanas they wore as belts. While they talk to Caitlin, Ketryn goes full “schoolmarm” about the pop quiz for their #Sammies. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Jennifer’s Body.
Dir. Karyn Kusama
Writer Diablo Cody
Ket tells Kim about Raw starring Garance Marillie and Ella Rumpf. After that, the girls have the privilege of sinking our teeth a little deeper into it with Ky Fields of KyFX group and literally like 6 million other things (click links below for this prolific Queen). None of them knew that Vet School went so hard and Ketryn gives into her true fuddy duddiness. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Raw.
Dir. Julia Ducournau
Writer Julia Ducournau
Kim tells Ket about the classic H.P. Lovecraft tale, Re-Animator (1985), starring Barbara Crampton, Jeffrey Combs and Bruce Abbott. We’re kicking off #WomenInHorrorMonth #WiHM with a bang! Along with our regular episode where the girls confront things like “where is Zurich?” and “What are the differences between a ‘Father’ and a ‘Daddy’?”, stay tuned to the end of the episode where the girls gab with the Queen, herself, Barbara Crampton about being a woman in horror and her new film Sacrifice (out February 9th)! It’s a doozy! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Re-animator.
Dir. Stuart Gordon
Writer H.P. Lovecraft, Dennis Paoli, William Norris, Stuart Gordon
Ket tells Kim about Patron pick Gretel and Hansel starring Sophia Lillis, Samuel Leakey and Alice Krige. The girls confirm whether or not they are cake people or ice cream people. They also have to do a ton of age conversions which has never been their strength and Kim makes a final and fruitless plea for Ketryn to stop smelling her. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Gretel and Hansel.
Dir. Oz Perkins
Writer Rob Hayes
Kim tells Ket about Pyewacket starring Laurie Holden and Nicole Muñoz. Sebastian (yes, the crab from The Little Mermaid) makes an appearance. We also meet Barry the Witch and the girls debut their new podcast: Vowels, AmIRIght? They also review Kim’s birth plan. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Pyewacket.
Dir. Adam McDonald
Writer Adam McDonald
Ket tells Kim about the 2005 Cursed starring everyone and anyone who was anyone in 2005. We’ve got Christina Ricci. We’ve got Joshua Jackson. We’ve got Jesse Eisenberg and so many more! First and foremost, the girls clear up the height discrepancy of each character. They spill the tea on dirty floor babies and the science of Were-STDs. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Cursed.
Dir. Wes Craven
Writer Kevin Williamson
Kim tells Ket about the Netflix release His House, starring Sope Dirisu, Wunmi Mosaku, Malaika Wakoli-Abigaba. It’s a very educational episode in which the girls explore exactly where Mitch McConnell’s mother conceived him, the dangers of hearing a disembodied “mama?” and how to (not) adopt a pet wall bird. In addition, this is a breathtaking movie that everyone should watch. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in His House.
Dir. Remi Weekes
Writer Remi Weekes; Story by Felicity Evans and Toby Venables
Ket tells Kim about the 2020 release starring Vince Vaughn and Katherine Newton, Freaky. Ket gives Kim one final Christmas present: the perfect and most Kimmiest kill of all kills and it is glorious! Ketryn also dives head first into her Vince Vaughn Daddy fantasies and it gets… uncomfortable. But it couldn’t be helped. It simply… couldn’t be helped. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Freaky.
Dir. Christopher Landon
Writers Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy
Kim tells Ket about the holiday Patreon pick, Better Watch Out, starring Olivia DeJonge, Levi Miller, Ed Oxenbould. Sweet baby Cole, Luke is not. The girls find yet another example of a creepy crapbag kid that needs to be returned and put back to factory settings. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Better Watch Out.  The girls also implore their listeners to be their mouths and tell a friend.
Dir. Chris Peckover
Writers Zach Kahn
Ket tells Kim about the Stephen King classic, Misery, starring themselves - I mean, Kathy Bates and James Caan. They are still unclear about strike anywhere matches and it continues to plague them. The girls also don’t discount the option to just marry your captor. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Misery
Dir. Rob Reiner
Writers Stephen King, William Goldman
Kim tells Ket about the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre starring Marilyn Burns and Gunnar Hansen. Kim makes a very firm statement about Sally Hardesty and we stand by it. The girls manage to solve the mystery of how many wheels an… 18 wheeler has. So let’s float around like 100 yr. old babies. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Dir. Tobe Hooper
Writers Kim Hinkel, Tobe Hooper
​Ket tells Kim about her birthday pick, Audition, starring Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina and Tetsu Sawaki. The most pressing thing about this episode is that we will officially be holding an audition to find Kim’s husband and I am sure nothing will go wrong and it’ll be just fine. So hold onto your china, the emotional bulls are comin’ through. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will stay alive in Audition.
Dir. Takashi Miike
Writers Ryu Murakami, Daisuke Tengan
Kim tells Ket about the Thanksgiving classic (they said the word Thanksgiving like two whole times, ok?) Escape Room starring Taylor Russell, Logan Miller and Jay Ellis. Ketryn has a very revealing moment as Kim describes a library, complete with a fancy hearth, to her in titillating detail. Kim also learns that Ketryn doesn’t understand how tall rooms are and Kim’s death monologue is… surprising. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Escape Room. 
Dir.  Adam Robitel
Writers Bragi F. Schut, Maria Melnik
Ket tells Kim about Ghost Ship Starring Julianna Marguiles and Gabriel Byrne. Gabriel Byrne obviously appears in a black wool peacoat as his rider clearly states. As per any horror movie comedy podcast the girls talk politics, stand-up comedy specials and Great British Baking Show. But then they dive head first into the depths of the terrifying ocean to learn important life lessons about ghosts and gold while actively not trying to trigger Kim’s 80’s ghost boyfriend. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Ghost Ship.
Dir. Steve Beck
Writer Mark Hanlon
Kim tells Ket about the third installment of their journey through Friday the 13th with part 3 in 3D starring  Dana Kimmell, Tracie Savage, and Richard Brooker. And we finally get some hockey mask up in this piece! Ket learns that being the daughter of a horse girl is really gonna come in handy when barn science is needed. The girls also really hope there is a chiropractor at Crystal Lake. So let’s stroke the fire, #sammies! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Friday the 13th Part 3 (3D).
Dir. Steve Miner
Writers Martin Kitrosser, Carol Watson
Ket tells Kim about Idle Hands starring the longest running dude on her wall: Devon Sawa. It also stars business mogul, Jessica Alba, along with Seth Green and Vivica A. Fox. Despite their decades long friendship, our girls continue to learn about each other and Ketryn learns that Kim’s expertise in having sex with cars extends to monster trucks. We’ll also meet the cousin of Heavy Metal Jeff from Porno: Heavy Metal Randy. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Idle Hands. 
Dir. Rodman Flender
Writers Terri Hughes Burton, Ron Milbauer
Kim tells Ket about Christine based on the novel by Stephen King. In honor of the season, the girls’ patrons got to vote on a flick from the Duke of Halloween himself: John Carpenter. Ket get’s “judgey” about the terror-factor of the name Christine. Kim reflects on how the pandemic has resulted in a lot of honking of one’s own horn. While both girls make some very strong and very (in)accurate assumptions about dudes who are into cars. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Christine.
Dir. John Carpenter
Writers Stephen King, Bill Phillips
Ket tells Kim about The Guest starring Dan Stevens and Maika Monroe. Ket picked it to ogle Dan Stevens and that mission… was accomplished. You know what mission wasn’t accomplished? Filming the right scenes in order for Kim to share in the ogling. Apologies all around. The girls also discuss how they would like to be strangled and Ket literally needs a cold shower. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Guest.
Dir. Adam Wingard
Writer Simon Barrett
Kim tells Ket about the sexual romp Ravenous starring Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle and David Arquette. THEN our girls Bianca and Ashley over at the incredible podcast Creep it Real join the girls to discuss the movie AND the real life event that inspired the movie. Don’t forget to go and listen to their full episode on Alferd Packer. It’s significantly less sexy than what we got goin’ on with this movie but fascinating nonetheless! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Ravenous
Dir. Antonia Bird
Writer Ted Griffin
Ket tells Kim about the Shudder Original Spiral starring Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, Ari Cohen and Jennifer Laporte. The girls argue over the use of the term diddy bag (YES - IT’S REAL!). They both realize their superpowers would only be useful in very specific and rare circumstances. Lastly, has anyone been able to find Jane Austen’s 80’s Aerobics VHS on Ebay? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Spiral.
Dir. Kurtis David Harder
Writers Colin Minihan, John Poliquin
​Kim tells Ket about the OG Saw starring Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell and everyone's favorite detective, Danny Glover. The girls announce that they'll be immortalized as Funko Pop dolls for one lucky patron. They also immediately solve who Jigsaw is: Prince Humperdink. So guard your brain houses because you're a jail person. Most importantly, we'll learn if Ket will live or die in Saw.
Dir. James Wan
​Writers Leigh Whannell, James Wan
Ket tells Kim about Soulmate in honor of Women Directors Month starring Anna Walton, Tom Wisdom and Tanya Myers. Ketryn applies for a new position that she created and hired herself for. Kim gets to really test out this ghost boyfriend thing but it’s really hard to see red flags when they’re ghost-lucent. And as usual, they offend every british person with their subpar british accents. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Soulmate.
Dir. Axelle Carolyn
Writer Axelle Carolyn
Kim tells Ket about the Netflix original 1BR starring Nicole Brydon Bloom, Giles Matthey and Taylor Nichols. The girls will determine that there are two types of people in this world: nightgown people and bikini people. Which are you? They discover that Kim’s chainsaw sound skills transfer almost seamlessly to bagpipe sound skills. They’ll both “vag up” and determine that parking tickets and toxic dudes are a rite of passage when you move to LA. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in 1BR.
Dir. David Marmor
Writer David Marmor
Ket tells Kim about the shudder original The Shed, starring Jay Jay Warren, Cody Kostro, and Sofia Happonen. The girls are  joining and opening for several bands and shan’t let their complete lack of musical prowess to deter them. Ket will be forced to place Kim in a time out - no LOVE ISLAND! But then she’ll need to build a russian shed doll shed. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Shed.
Dir. Frank Sabatella
Writers Jason Rice and Frank Sabatella
Kim tells Ket about Daniel Isn't Real starring Miles Robbins and Patrick Schwarzenegger. So come join our very exclusive cult that no one is allowed to join. The entrance fee is making Ketryn cry with a chainsaw sound. Then you have to tell us our memes are funny and then if you pass, you'll be rewarded with a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Most importantly, we'll learn if Ket will live or die in Daniel Isn't Real.
Dir. Adam Egypt Mortimer
​Writers Brian Deleeuw, Adam Egypt Mortimer
Ketryn tells Kim about The Frighteners starring Michael J. Fox (national treasure), Trini Alvarado (not Andi McDowell), Dee Wallace (ET’s Mom), and Jake Busey (Gary Busey’s kid). Kim has adopted a new pet that won’t infringe upon her lease because it’s a ghost - a ghost dog. We discover one of Ketryn’s areas of expertise: fender benders. They also make an addition to their merch store: branded holy water guns! Get’em while they're hot! Seriously, should we sell those? The girls also REALLY need Milton to find his OWN story! Most importantly,  we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Firghteners.
Dir. Peter Jackson
Writer Fran Walsh, Peter Jackson
Kim tells Ket about The Curious Case of Benjamin Button starring Brad Pitt! (Just kidding! What is our podcast?) It’s Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell starring Alison Lohman and Justin Long. As always, if you add Kim and Ket together, you get one full person and that person’s name is Mary Tyler Moore. The girls also have some questions for Sam Raimi and his mouth horror. What’s goin’ on, bud? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Drag Me to Hell.
Dir. Sam Raimi
Writers Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi
Ket tells Kim about the film taking Shudder by storm, Host, starring  Haley Bishop, Jemma Moore, Emma Louise Webb, Radina Drandova and Caroline Ward. Kim really changes her tune about a Cinq Seance by the end of this one. She can now be found floating in a baptism pool, filled with salt, for the rest of her existence. The girls get into a small tiff when Ketryn learns that Kim has no intention of tattooing her ashes in her when she’s gone. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Host.
​Dir. Rob Savage
Writers Gemma Hurley, Rob Savage, Jed Shepherd
Kim tells Ket about Child’s Play starring Chris Sarandon, Catherine Hicks and Alex Vincent. The girls explore the benefit of putting kids on leashes and Ketryn warns against buying your children toys they want. There is apparently a macheted Jason man roaming Glendale and we discover what three things would summon the girls’ spirits. Most importantly, we learn if Ket will live or die in Child’s Play (1988).
Dir. Tom Holland
Writer Don Mancini
Ket tells Kim about Teeth starring Jess Wiexler. This is a pick from our Patrons over at Patreon and it was… a doozy. (Trigger warnings abound!) The girls explain vampire doors, dick vampires, and evoke the powers of evolution and earth to insure their female descendants be blessed with toothed vaginas for the good of humanity. So let’s blow our smoke snacks and police our boning. BONG! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Teeth.
Dir. Mitchell Lichtenstein
Writer Mitchell Lichtenstein
Kim tells Ket about Lyle starring Gaby Hoffman and Ingrid Jungermann (Bergman?). They unveil their new podcast all about the riveting world of chairs and they try to get to the bottom of what they could have possibly done to piss off the mosquitos. They discuss the anatomical anomalies of ghost conceptions and ghost babies. And they debate whether or not the devil is a feminist. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Lyle.
Dir. Stewart Thorndike
Writer Stewart Thorndike
Kim and Ket recount 100 episodes of laughter, friendship and staying alive… maybe. Thanks to their #Sammies, they’ve made it this far and have no intention of stopping! The girls recount their favorite moments and hear voicemails from Sammies who chime in with their slayiest moments as well. Kim and Ket also announce a new Patreon tier benefit! All patrons will get a video link to the filming of THIS recording. And going forward, all #NancyThompsons and above will have access to (at least) one video recorded episode per month! So you can SEE with your earballs or LISTEN with your eyeballs… whichever gets you yer gettins’! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim AND Ket will live or die in episode 100 of Kim and Ket Stay Alive… Maybe.
Edited by Arik Martin
Clips compiled by The Girls, Arik, and Alison Trumbull
Ket tells Kim about The People Under the Stairs starring Brandon Quinten Adams, A.J. Langer and Ving Rhames. This movie turned Kim into a straight-up, wet robot (what???). We explore when it is and isn’t appropriate to call people ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ Spoiler alert: it’s ONLY when these people have birthed you! It also becomes clear that Ketryn does not know what shotguns sound like. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The People Under the Stairs.
Dir. Wes Craven
Writer Wes Craven
Kim tells Ket about The Final Girls starring Malin Akerman, Taissa Farmiga and literally everyone else. Ket starts off the telling by offending their large Gertrude population. We also get to the bottom of Kim’s slow slide into full british jargon. There is also another glaring difference between the girls’ brains. But they both still ugly cried at this movie. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Final Girls.
Dir. Todd Strauss-Schulson
Writers M.A. Fortin, Joshua John Miller
Ket tells Kim about The Lighthouse starring Willem Dafoe (Jesus) and Rob Pattinson (Cedric Diggory). We start off the episode with Kim’s harrowing journey to the Coachella for ants. Then we segue into what inanimate objects one should fornicate with. The mystery of the mergina is FINALLY solved. But Kim is still less than enthused by the end of it all. Most importantly,  we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Lighthouse.
Dir. Robert Eggers
Writers Robert Eggers, Max Eggers
Kim tells Ket about The Invisible Man (2020) starring Elizabeth Moss. In quarantine, Ketryn has become a full blown goldfish with a 3 second memory. But they do coin a new phrase: The Sammarmy. They protect the girls from a litany of internet trolls and they’re so grateful. So join The Patron Saint of Music and Edward Meat Tenderizer hands. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Invisible Man.
Dir. Leigh Whannell
Writer Leigh Whannell
Ket tells Kim about Slaughterhouse Rulez starring Michael Sheen and Simon Pegg. It should have been Harry Potter meets horror. Instead it was confusion meets indigestion. Kim ends up having to carry her own donkey the final stretch and Ketryn gets sucked into her own personal Adam Scott Mandela Effect. In this time of perpetual turmoil, we all just want a pint of ice cream but that doesn’t mean you won’t get the bloats. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Slaughterhouse Rulez.
Dir. Crispian Mills
Writers Crispian Mills, Henry Fitzherbert
Kim tells Ket about The Lodge starring Riley Keough. The girls find them in a purgatory-like, snow space yet again. We learn that Kim’s 80’s ghost has been cheating on her and is engaged. Speaking of ghosts, the girls weigh in on who would be a better lay: ghost or demon? They’ll also discuss the venn diagram of their subsequent interests and discover that neither of them may be cut out for step-mommery. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Lodge.
Dir. Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz
Writers Sergio Casci, Veronika Franz
Ket tells Kim about The Ritual starring Rafe Spall, Arsher Ali, Robert James-Collier and Sam Troughton. Kim teaches us all the British slang she’s learned over the years being a “right slag.” They try to decipher who each of their friends would be on this Lad’s Holiday that they would never go on (Kris is Dom). The girls also get a visit from The Village People. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Ritual.
Dir. David Bruckner
Writers Joe Barton, Adam Nevill
Kim tells Ket about The Conjuring 2 starring Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson. The girls discuss the Mandela Effect (which I could swear they’ve discussed before - but maybe that was in an alternate universe… like the one where Berenstein Bears is spelled wrong.) We get a glimpse into Ketryn’s troubling parenting ethos and we vow to burn all recliners. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Conjuring 2.
Dir. James Wan
Writers Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes, David Leslie Johnson, James Wan
Ket tells Kim about the Fangoria film, Porno, starring Jillian Mueller, Robbie Tan, Larry Saperstein, Glenn Scott, and Evan Daves. Welp, the girls wanted to see more dick. Man, did they get it. Yeesh! But besides that, the girls want to remind you to shower before you go through the pearly gates of Heaven and to make sure you provide Heavy Metal Jeff with a death certificate of your loved ones. Most importantly… CBTLA. Most, MOST importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will stay alive in Porno.
Dir. Keola Racela
Writer Matt Black, Laurence Vannicelli
Kim tells Ket about Slumber Party Massacre (thanks to their amazing Patrons!) starring Michelle Michaels and Robin Stille. It starts off rocky. They forget to cheers and therefore have to start the episode over and then Ketryn almost kills Kim with a crotch shot. They search, in vain, for a dick and the search is lead by a horny, 29 yr. Old pre-teen. But at least pizza is $6… oh, wait. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Slumber Party Massacre.
Dir. Amy Holden Jones
Writer Rita Mae Brown
Ket tells Kim about Harpoon starring Munro Chambers, Christopher Gray and Emily Tyra. The girls are still in quarantine and they’re gettin’ weird with it. Ket is buying too many pillows, getting weighed against her will, and erecting a gauntlet for Kim’s suitors. Kim is existing outside of space and time and all that exists for her is the here and now… apparently. So let’s drink some seagulls and start catchin’ blood drops with our tongues. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Harpoon.
Dir. Rob Grant
Writer Rob Grant, Mike Kovac
Kim tells Ket about Tucker & Dale vs. Evil starring Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk and Katrina Bowden. The most important lesson we can learn is that being named Chad is not your fault… not changing your name, is. The girls reiterate the importance of  learning where the safety is on ALL GUNS. And Ket changes the theme of Kim’s hypothetical wedding to a “Tucker & Dale” theme. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.
Dir. Eli Craig
Writer Eli Craig, Morgan Jurgenson
Ket tells Kim about Repo (not man)! The Genetic Opera starring Anthony Head, Paul Sorvino and Bill Moseley. It’s their first remote recording since that quarantine life began and they miss each other’s faces. The girls contemplate starting the KKSAM band. Ketryn goes through a very complicated ‘Giles’ journey and they realize that sometimes the only solution is to just head straight to the moon. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Repo! The Genetic Opera.
Dir. Darren Lynn Bousman
Writer Darren Smith, Terrence Zdunich
Kim tells Ket about Bliss starring Dora Madison, Jeremy Gardner and our buddy Graham Skipper. Let the girls transport you back to a far simpler time when we could leave our house and all we had to worry about was vampires on bath salts eating our faces. Kim will learn she can ‘sit some out’, Ket will learn she’s far too anal about rent to do drugs and neither will learn the difference between a joint, a spliff and a blunt. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Bliss.
Dir. Joe Begos
Writer Joe Begos
Ket tells Kim about Patreon Pick, A Tale of Two SIsters starring Soo-Jung Lim and Guen-Young Moon. The girls begin to process the world-wide quarantine (WASH YOUR HANDS AND STAY HOME!) and bring you some little positivities to help you get through. They also discuss the origin of hands and what games they’ll be playing in the nursing home together. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in A Tale of Two Sisters.
Dir. Jee-woon Kim
Writer Jee-woon Kim
Kim tells Ket about A Quiet Place (FINALLY) starring Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. What better way to brave the apocalypse than by watching a movie about the apocalypse? The girls decide that they need to beat the crap out of each other to see how quiet they can be. We also learn that anyone in Arik’s tribe during a quiet apocalypse will be immediately dead. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in A Quiet Place
Dir. John Krasinski
Writers Scott Beck, Bryan Woods, John Krasinski
Ket tells Kim about installment number 2 of the saga of Jason starring Betsy Palmer, Amy Steel and John Furey. We just gotta see how this whole “Jason thing” is playing out. Here are a couple things we learned about Jason: he is a clumsy turtle; he’s in need of a Rocky-esque training montage; he’s sporting… a burpsmap! How did you guys not tell us this?! Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in Friday the 13th Part 2.
Dir. Steve Miner
Writers Ron Kurz, Victor Miller
Kim tells Ket about A Dark Song starring Catherine Walker and Steve Oram. There will be a shocking reveal about who is actually more in danger of being cultified.  We’ll get to the bottom of Kim and Ket’s feelings on melons… FINALLY. Also, and most importantly, may we introduce to you our new best bro, Jerry Tooneytown. Most most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in A Dark Song.
Dir. Liam Gavin
Writer Liam Gavin
Ket tells Kim about Arik’s Birthday pick by The Soska Sisters, American Mary starring Katherine Elizabeth. So grab an extra turkey leg from your sutured turkeys and buckle up. It’s gonna be a bloody, slicey ride. Ketryn will acquire a new Betty Boop impression to add to her very limited repertoire. We’ll test the marketability of new candle scent: Bag of Rags and Skin. And the girls will work out the logistics of switching arms. Most importantly,  we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in American Mary.
Dir. Jen and Sylvia Soska
Writers Jen and Sylvia Soska
Kim tells Ket about A Girls Walks Home Alone at Night starring Sheila Vand, Arash Marandi Marshall Manesh. It’s the third contribution to Women in Horror Month and our monthly Patreon pick! We’ll learn that Ketryn would be a really honest and forthright Vampire so excuse her fangs. We’ll get a visit from the spirit of Mona Lisa Vito when Kim identifies the make and model of the vintage car being driven. And no, we will not be googling it to find out if she’s correct or not. We’ll also say goodbye to Cindy. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night.
Dir. Ana Lily Amirpour
Writer Ana Lily Amirpour
Ket tells Kim about The Love Witch starring Samantha Robinson. We’ve got a love-addicted witch, ren-faire cosplay, jars of tampons, feminism and hot dudes. It’s basically Kim and Ket in a blender. We’ll learn many things like how to not be a turd little bird boy. We will NOT learn what Ketryn meant by ‘naked violent feet ceremony’ because she, herself, hasn’t the foggiest. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Love Witch.
Dir. Anna Biller
Writer Anna Biller
Kim tells Ket about Tragedy Girls starring Brianna Hildebrand and Alexandra Shipp. Listen up, Erasers! Enrollment opens for Ketryn’s Female Anatomy Health class, open to boys ONLY! Y’all need to learn. We learn that Kim is a professional wooden pencil holder maker. The girls revisit their autobiographical webseries: The 3xtremes. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ketryn will live or die in Tragedy Girls.
Dir. Tyler McIntyre
Writer Tyler McIntyre, Chris Lee Hill
Ket tells Kim about our #Sammie Patrons vote: Fright Night starring Chris Sarandon, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowell, William Ragsdale and the mysterious creature, Stephen Geoffreys. We learn what the absolute least sexy name is and we go on a sexual awakening journey with Amy. We’re going to go on a journey with Evil Ed too but your guess is as good as ours as to what that journey is. Oh, and Chalrey is in it too and he’s a bad boyfriend. The end. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Fright Night
Dir. Tom Holland
Writer Tom Holland
Kim tells Ket about the gut-wrenching, critically acclaimed and award winning Parasite starring Kang-ho Sung, Sun-kyun Lee and Yeo-jeong Jo. We introduce you all to the mantra of the year: Big. Grandma. Energy. Also, who wants to pre-order our KKSAM cookbook sold on our new Goop-like lifestyle blog? Cuckoo Banana Stir-fry anyone? Whiskey mask? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Parasite.
Dir. Bong Joon Ho
Writer Bong Joon Ho
Ket tells Kim about The Invitation starring Logan Marshall-Green and Tammy Blanchard. Kim revisits her budding career in the ASMR world and Ket, yet again, narrowly saves her from joining a cult. Constant vigilance! We quiz our #Sammies on some classic Ross Gellar moments and one character turns into a Spongebob Squarepants meme. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Invitation.
Dir. Karyn Kusama
Writer Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi
Kim tells Ket about Sam Raimi’s OG The Evil Dead starring the one and only Bruce mothereffin’ Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss and Richard DeManicor. The girls’ brains will officially meld into one and we’ll learn of Ketryn’s childhood turtleneck trauma. We’ll also learn two new words but never learn why Cheryl is sooo extra. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Evil Dead
Dir. Sam Raimi
Writer Sam Raimi
Ket tells Kim about John Carpenter’s The Thing starring Kurt “Baby Blues” Russell, Wilford Brimley and Keith David. Ketryn braved some major animal horror (that she had previously blocked out) to bring you this episode. So let’s hold each others dicks and get stir-fried. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Thing.
Dir. John Carpenter
Writers Bill Lancaster, John W. Campbell Jr.
Kim tells Ket about Anna and the Apocalypse starring Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming and Ben Wiggins. Kim’s little musical heart sang along with every note and it was contagious… just like zombie viruses. So grab your hand sanitizer and call in all the Santas. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Anna and the Apocalypse.
Dir. John McPhail
Writer Alan McDonald, Ryan McHenry
Ket tells Kim about the winner of our Patreon poll: Silent Night, Deadly Night starring Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin and Britt Leach. Put on your pajama wimples because we’re gonna have some nunspiriences. Oh! And obviously, don’t forget to let your boobs out. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Silent Night, Deadly Night.
Dir. Charles E. Sellier Jr.
​Writer Michael Hickey and (based on story by) Paul Caimi
Kim tells Ket about Friday the 13th starring Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King and Kevin Bacon. So, naturally, the girls discuss… the weather. And before you get all mad about how Ketryn hasn’t seen this before, remember that they couldn’t bring you this episode if she had so… YOU’RE WELCOME! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in the original Friday the 13th.
Dir. Sean S. Cunningham
Writer Victor Miller
Ket tells Kim about the Norwegian horror Dead Snow starring Lasse Valdal,  Charlotte Frogner and Vegar Hoel. So deadbolt your intestines and let’s dive into the creVASSE (Yes. That’s how it’s pronounced). We’ll revisit the unfortunate fashions of 2009, all of which the girls enthusiastically participated in. We’ll admire the elegance of the elusive giraffe bird. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Dead Snow.
Dir. Tommy Wirkola
Writers Tommy Wirkola and Stig Frode Henriksen
Kim tells Ket about the (sort of) Thanksgiving horror classic You’re Next starring Sharni Vinson, Joe Swanberg and AJ Bowen. We’ll introduce you to the newest superhero: Red Flag Girl. We’ll also meet Rachel, the one who introduced us to Colin Farrel’s sex tape… you’re welcome. Then we’ll get into some real Home Alone-style security systems from a badass bitch. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in You’re Next.
Dir. Adam Wingard
Writer Simon Barrett

Ket tells Kim about the demented family horror, American Gothic starring Sarah Torgov, Rod Steiger and Yvonne De Carlo. We meet an ACTUAL middle-aged child mom and Kim’s actual head explodes because “what are ages?” The girls also need to know the answer to two important  questions: where the literal eff is Paul and what happens when you go “deep Barbler?” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in American Gothic.
Dir. John Hough
Writers Burt Wetanson, Michael Vines
Kim tells Ket about House of the Devil starring Jocelin Donahue, Greta Gerwig and Tom Noonan. Kim has a date with truffle parmesan fries (and ‘The Man’) to see this throwback creeper. The girls, once again, discuss the most pressing topics of the film like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CUT A PRE-CUT PIZZA WITH A KNIFE?! WHO IS THE REAL PSYCHO HERE, SAM?! Also, if you live in the 80s, you love pizza, you’ll shoot your eye out, and your name has to be Sam. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The House of the Devil.
Dir. Ti West
Writer Ti West
Ket tells Kim about the found footage film, The Taking of Deborah Logan, starring Jill Larson, Anne Ramsey and Michelle Ang. Kim’s got a bone to pick with Ket and she gets re-angry about Ket’s alarm clock from, like, a million years ago! Get over it! (These show notes were written by Ketryn obviously). The girls will hammer out their plans for when and if one of them shows even the slightest possible sign of anything even resembling Alzheimer’s. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Taking of Deborah Logan.
Dir. Adam Robitel
Writer Gavin Heffernan and Adam Robitel
Kim tells Ket about the classic Night of the Living Dead starring Duane Jones and Judith O’Dea.  It’s spooky Halloween and what better way to celebrate than to kill some non-trademarked zombies? So give us an Eskiball Kiss, let’s put some doors on doors and slap some sense into Barbler. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die  in Night of the Living Dead.
Dir. George Romero
Writer John Russo
Ket tells Kim about Orphan starring Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard and Isabelle Fuhrman. Art imitates true real-life horror as we learn yet another reason kids are terrifying… and honestly, might actually be 10 to 35 years old. We take a trip to Kim’s Village of Cups again and make a final decision on who is crowned the true Sarsgaard/Skarsgard… there can only be one. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Orphan.
Dir. Jaume Collet-Serra
Writer David Leslie Johnson
Kim tells Ket about Halloween III: Season of the Witch starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin and Dan O’Herlihy. Join us for the Festival of Burpsmap! Michael Myers is not invited but the sexy Thomas Jeanine certainly is! So put on your best suit and get your Monday strangles in early because it’s Halloween… III! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Halloween III: Season of the Witch.
Dir. Tommy Lee Wallace
Writer Tommy Lee Wallace
Ket tells Kim about Happy Birthday to Me starring Melissa Sue Anderson, Glenn Ford and Lawrence Dane. The episode begins with Kim nearly upstaging Ketryn’s birthday and making it her own death day. Rude! They’ll both fantasize about punching Etienne in the throat and Kim will proclaim her love for Bernadette. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Happy Birthday to Me.
Dir. J. Lee Thompson
Writer John C.W. Saxton and Peter Jobin
Kim tells Ket about Ready or Not starring their girl Samara Weaving, Andie McDowell and Adam Brody. Kim starts by talking about the short film preceding the film about an emergency seamstress. Then we get into the movie where Samara Weaving takes off her damn heels and gets dat $$$. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Ready or Not.
Dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett 
Writer Guy Busick, Ryan Murphy
Ket tells Kim about Hagazussa, Germany’s answer to The VVitch, starring Aleksandra Cwen, Celina Peter and Claudia Martini.  Make sure you have an extra shot with you because shit is gettin’ 15th century fucked. Ketryn begins with murdering Kim for not having seen The Sound of Music, then the girls tell us all about Horrible Imaginings Film Festival. So grab your goats and let’s take that extra shot. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Hagazussa.
Dir. Lukas Feigelfeld
Writer Lukas Feigelfeld
Kim tells Ket about House of 1000 Corpses starring Sid Haig, Sheri Moon Zombie and Bill Moseley. Let’s turn up some Hamilton and RAGE, #Sammies! We’ll learn who has a will to live and who has the will to nap. The girls will get drunk on fruit and tell us of their dream to throat-punch and bottle-stab someone. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in House of 1000 Corpses.
Dir. Rob Zombie
Writer Rob Zombie
Ket tells Kim about Night of the Creeps starring Jason Lively, Tom Atkins and Steve Marshall. They take a nice long trip to Tangent Town and learn all about ASMR. They’re still not clear about Den Mothers and have a lot more questions. As always, they ask the important questions like when did “Miller Time” start? Everyone grab your dinosaur  egg plums and THRILL ME! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will stay alive in Night of the Creeps
Dir. Fred Dekker
Writer Fred Dekker
Kim tells Ket about The Autopsy of Jane Doe starring Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox.  So get the tommy hawk, Pod! Don’t forget your mystery femur. Let’s get religualistic! We’ll learn about how Kim creeped out a room of Disney casting execs and we’ll learn how Ket creeped out everyone by saying she’d like a body to autopsy for her birthday. So open up your heart and let the sun shine in. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Autopsy of Jane Doe.
Dir. Andre Ovredal
Writer Ian Goldberg, Richard Naing
Happy Anniversary, Sammies! Kim & Ket each tell an episode of Tales from the Crypt at their very first live show to commemorate one whole friggin’ year of talkin’ at ya! Kim will attempt to complete her spiritual journey by electrocuting people and Ket will attempt to murder Santa. They’ll BOTH get their gettins but most importantly,  we’ll learn if both girls will live or die in Tales from the Crypt: Episodes 1 & 2.
Creator Steven Dodd
​Dir. Walter Hill, Robert Zemeckis
Writer Steven Dodd, Fred Dekker.
Kim tells Ket about Spring starring Lou Taylor Pucci and Nadia Hilker. But the greatest horror may be Kim and Ketryn attempting to beatbox and freestyle. We going to learn just how prevalent ARE human tails and can Ket have one. We’ll also unite all the sluts with a jaunty chant! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Spring.
Dir. Justin Benson, Aaron Moorehead
Writer Justin Benson
Ket tells Kim about this movie (?) called Killer Klowns from Outer Space starring Suzanne Snyder, Grant Cramer and John Vernon. Ketryn has challenged Pennywise to a duel and she’s tagging these assholes in. Join animatronic farmers and the dinosaurs from the 90’s sitcom Dinosaurs with clown (klown?) makeup on and let’s hop in Ketryn’s Ford Windstar with (not) Rex Manning. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
Dir. Stephen Chiodo
Writers Stephen Chiodo, Charles Chiodo
Kim tells Ket about another one of Arik’s favorites that she feels mediocre about: Jacob’s Ladder starring Tim Robbins and Elizabeth Pena. We learn that Ketryn’s 80’s kitchen ghost has returned with a new (familiar?) ear worm to implant in all of our brains and don’t ever rely on Arik to help you in a haunted nighttime cat situation. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Jacob’s Ladder.
Dir. Adrian Lyne
​Writer Bruce Joel Rubin
​Ket tells Kim about the new release Midsommar starring Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, Vilhelm Blomgren, Williams Jackson Harper and Will Poulter. Want to hear Kim laugh for an uncomfortable amount of time about a head exploding on a rock? You’ve come to the right place. Ketryn makes poor Arik answer for his entire species and the girls both have flashbacks to the dating breadcrumbs boys left them in their 20s. Just give girls the whole baguette or release them to get their bread elsewhere! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Midsommar. 
Dir. Ari Aster
Writer Ari Aster
Kim tells Ket about the OG It (in two parts because this bitch is long!) starring the late great John Ritter,  Jonathan Brandis, and Harry Anderson (RIP to all), as well as alive Tim Curry and Seth Green. Guys, Ket did NOT get the mythology of this. She is currently on life support. Other things that should be on life support are mullet ponytails and douchebag dickhead dudes that beat people with belts. #SaveBev. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in It (1990)
Dir. Tommy Lee Wallace
Writers Stephen King, Tommy Lee Wallace and Lawrence D. Cohen
Ket tells Kim about Netflix original The Perfection starring Allison Williams, Steven Weber and Logan Browning. Come join us in the Hearth Room and take a listen to a tale. Grab your travel meat cleavers and gum, and hear what kind of band Kim and Ketryn wish they could be in. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Perfection.
Dir.  Richard Shepard
Writers Richard Shepard and Eric C. Charmelo
Kim tells Ket about Unsane starring Claire Foy, Joshua Leonard and Jay Pharoah. Ket will remind you why you should just stick to Starbucks on your lunch break. If you don’t you will definitely be kept against your will in an institution. Those are just facts. The girls will also introduce you to… The King. What will you do for a phone? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Unsane.
Dir. Steven Soderbergh
Writers Jonathan Bernstein, James Greer
​Ket tells Kim about Apostle starring Ketryn’s boyfriend, Michael Sheen and Kim’s boyfriend, Dan Stevens. We’ll be introduced to yet another Burpsmap. We’ll have a lesson in ordering cheesesteaks and roman numerals and we’ll learn a new vocab word. Kim is still looking for the bar but, most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Apostle.
Dir. Gareth Evans
Writer Gareth Evans
Kim tells Ket about the “classic” horror movie, that was surely nominated for several Oscars, starring Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Karen Fields. In this film, boobs are VIP tickets to the Boy Circle and Kim has backstage passes… Ket was, is, and always will be looking for scalpers in the parking lot. Nick Santa Croce, this one’s for you! Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in Sleepaway Camp.
Dir. Robert Hiltzik
Writer Robert Hiltzik
Ket tells Kim about Bad Samaritan starring David Tennant, Robert Sheehan and Kerry  Condon. Ketryn learns a very important lesson: David Tennant, while a near perfect human, is only mortal, after all. Kim will come as close as we’ve ever seen her to losing her complete mind and almost killing Ketryn. And both the girls will get “Geostormed.” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will love or die in Bad Samaritan.
Dir. Dean Devlin
Writer Brandon Boyce
Kim tells Ket about Poltergeist starring JoBeth Williams, Heather O’Rourke and Craig T. Nelson. I know, I know! How has Ketryn not seen this? We’ll get into it. Chill out about it. Also, did you not learn our lesson from last week? If you have kids, they WILL become haunted. We’ll also find out that in the great bracket of terrifying clowns, Pennywise may have some competition. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Poltergeist.
Dir. Tobe Hooper
Writers Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais
Ket tells Kim about Ouija: Origin of Evil starring Elizabeth Reaser, Henry Thomas, Lulu Wilson and Annalisse Basso. The girls need all #Sammies to know something: If you have kids, they WILL become haunted and they WILL find crap bags of cash in the walls. You’ve been warned. Oh! And make sure you know what you’d ask each other as code to throw off a Ouija Demon. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Ouija: Origin of Evil.
Dir. Mike Flanagan
Writers Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard
​Kim tells Ket about Emelie starring Sarah Bolger, Carly Adams, Joshua Rush. Our episode opens with the girls catching a case of the giggles. Kim is still on low-key (high-key?) crack due to lack of sleep. The girls coin a new mantra. (Spoiler Alert: it has to do with tits and vagina.) Ket comes to terms with her uncanny resemblance to an anxious 9 year old child. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Emelie.
Dir. Michael Thelin
Writer Richard Raymond Harry HerBeck
Ket tells Kim about House of Wax starring Vincent Price, Frank Lovejoy, and Phyllis Kirk. Ket begins planning the wedding of Kim and her new Ghost Beau that lives in Ket’s kitchen. They switch gears from being a horror movie comedy podcast to a Paris Hilton/Grammar/Old Timey Musical Podcast. Y’all cool with that? Cool. They also decide that they prefer living in the era where women didn’t have to store their internal organs in their hats. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in House of Wax.
Dir. Andre DeToth
​Writers Crane Wilbur, Charles Belden
Kim tells Ket about Summer of ‘84. We’ll learn about when it’s appropriate to use binoculars. The girls will begin their blueprints for their Podcast Treehouse and they’ll blame everything on raccoons. They’ll also tell you the most foolproof survival tactic they’ve ever shared. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Summer of ‘84.
Dir. Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell
Writers Matt Leslie, Stephen J. Smith
Ket tells Kim about the Jordan Peele masterpiece, Us, starring Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke, and Elisabeth Moss. We’ll learn to never hide a key in a hide-a-key. The girls will remind you that the the correct amount of time to stab someone is forever. And we’ll all want to run away from Santa Cruz, bipedally. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Us.
Dir. Jordan Peele
Writer Jordan Peele
Kim tells Ket about the 2007 Spanish horror REC starring Manuela Velasco, Ferran Terraza and Jorge-Yamam Serrano. The girls will explore which alternate universe they’re currently living in based on The Mandela Effect and the correct spelling of The Berenstein (Berenstain?) Bears. Ket will journey into yet another Zombie-ish situation and she’ll mistake the spanish word for ‘I’ with an assertive New York accent. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in REC.
Dir. Jaume Balaguero, Paco Plaza
Writers Jaume Balaguero, Luiso Berdejo
Ket tells Kim about the creepy Swedish love story of Let The Right One In starring Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, and Per Ragnar. The girls will re-acquaint themselves with everyone’s favorite crime dog: Kevin McGruff. Ket will discover her favorite defense against baddies: 30 cats! The girls will also remind you to be wary of adults who drink glasses of milk. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Let The Right One In.
Dir. Tomas Alfredson
Writer  John Ajvide Lindqvist
Kim tells Ket about the terrifying Terrifier starring David Howard Thornton, Jenna Kanell and Samantha Scaffidi. This one was a doozy, #sammies. The girls added several entries to their survival guide. They explained the very real perils of wearing one-piece outfits in public bathrooms and they will fail at answering the question “what IS this building, though?” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Terrifier.
Dir. Damien Leone
Writer Damien Leone
Ket tells Kim about The Forest starring Natalie Dormer and Eoin Macken. We’ll say “goodbye” to KKSAM podcast because the girls are starting a Funeral Moonbounce business that is going to be v. v. lucrative. (J.K.)  The girls will find a new level of night beyond “night night”: TRIPLE NIGHT! And we’ll all meet a new member of Baby Burpsmap’s family tree. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Forest.
Dir. Jason Zada
Writers Nick Antosca, Sarah Cornwall
Kim tells Ket about the classic April Fool’s Day starring Deborah Foreman, Griffin O’Neal, and Clayton Rohner. We’ll learn that Ketryn does not like April Fools pranks… unless she’s the one playing them. The girls will tell the story of the “Birth of Cinq,” and they’ll reluctantly answer some very revealing 1986 Cosmo quiz questions. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in April Fool’s Day.
Dir. Fred Walton
Writer Danilo Bach
Ket tells Kim about the Shudder Original, The Witch in the Window starring Alex Draper, Charlie Tacker and Carol Stanzione.. Kim meets a KKSAM celeb from episode 10. Ket laments her inability to see whatever image was in those magic eye posters. Both girls praise the holy universe that documentation of the indiscretions of their youth was far more sparse than it is today. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Witch in the Window.
Dir. Andy Mitton
​Writer Andy Mitton
Kim tells Ket about the acid trip that is the Shudder exclusive, Mandy, starring Nicolas Cage (Icolas Age) and Andrea Riseborough. Ket enlists The #Sammies to join the “Keep Kim Out of a Cult” mission. Kim cannot, under any circumstances, remember the name for a crossbow. They’ll both end the episode completely high. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Mandy.
Dir. Panos Cosmatos
Writers Panos Cosmatos, Aaron Stewart-Ahn
Ket tells Kim about Leprechaun 2 starring the charming and profesh Warwick Davis, Charlie Heath and Shevonne Durkin. The girls will find Bridget a little picky. I mean, the dating scene is a jungle out there! They’ll also discuss the exciting and polarizing topic of motorboating. And listeners will learn that one should always be armed with iron to survive. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Leprechaun 2.
Dir. Rodman Flender
Writers Mark Jones, Turi Meyer
Kim tells Ket about Revenge starring  Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz, Kevin Janssens, and  Vincent Colombe. As usual, they talk about the important things like what do ants eat? Are those Kim’s real legs? Is Ketryn’s husband a daytime serial killer? The girls will also add to their survival guide with fool-proof ways to stay alive like “learn to do a single pull-up.” But most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live and get revenge in… Revenge.
Dir. Coralie Fargeat
Writer Coralie Fargeat
Ket tells Kim about Honeymoon (2014) starring Rose Leslie and Harry Treadaway. The girls will pay homage to the niche genre of porn known as pirate porn… that’s a thing, no? Ket will invite herself onto Kim’s honeymoon to prevent her from getting ‘aliened,’ much to Kim’s chagrin. But most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Honeymoon.
Dir. Leigh Janiak
Writer Leigh Janiak, Phil Graziadei
Kim tells Ket about Angel Heart starring Mickey Rourke, Robert DeNiro and Lisa Bonet, in honor of Arik’s birthday. The girls will coin a new term for that incredibly hot piece of male accoutrement with a very unfortunate name. They’ll also be introduced to Burpsmaps attorney: Winesmap. And Kim will be unfaithful to Skelefrank while Ket will look for literally any excuse to get up in Lisa Bonet’s piece. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Angel Heart.
Dir. Alan Parker
​Writer Alan Parker
Ket tells Kim about My Bloody Valentine (1981) starring Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck. The girls will recount their various reasons for Valentine’s Day-induced emotional scarring. They’ll take several trips to “BoneCon” and remind listeners that FOMO is no reason to go on a murder spree. Kim and Ket will also introduce their #Sammies to the #FinalGirls of their brand spankin’ new Patreon! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in My Bloody Valentine.
Dir. George Mihalka
Writers Stephen A. Miller, John Beaird
Kim tells Ket about Hellraiser starring Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins and Sean Chapman. Kim will barely be able to keep it in her pants over Skelefrank. Both Kim and Ket will try to say the name Larry in a sexy way… and fail… because the name is… Larry. The girls will also share some fashion tips like “put your skin on BEFORE your shirt.” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Hellraiser.
Dir. Clive Barker
​Writer Clive Barker
Ket tells Kim about Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaac, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Ket will educate Kim  on what she’s been missing in terms of the hotness that is Oscar Isaac. They’ll both educate all of you on the Bechdel Test. And THEY’LL be educated on tentacle blood and jurassic bear skull monsters. And all of YOU will educate Kim and Ket on where the quote “We’re all a little crazy” came from. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Annihilation.
Dir. Alex Garland
Writer ​Alex Garland
​Kim tells Ket about 47 Meters Down starring Mandy Moore, Claire Holt and Matthew Modine. Listen, sometimes the cables that hold the cage, protecting you from surrounding sharks, and preventing you from falling 47 meters to the ocean floor, break. Sometimes microphones break too... So get your scuba tanks and your metaphorical tits out, and let’s get our nitrogen narcosis on!
*DISCLAIMER Seriously, there were tech problems and we lost Kim’s audio. But, friend of the podcast, Brian Sharpe was able to retrieve and boost what little audio there was. It’s difficult to hear but the content was too good not to release. So bear with us and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled recording depth next week.
​Dir. Johannes Roberts
Writer Johannes Roberts, Ernest Riera
Ket tells Kim about The Exorcist 3 starring George C. Scott, Ed Flanders and Brad Dourif. We’ll confront Kim about her budding schizophrenia… or possession. It’s  unclear. Fabio will make an appearance as an angel. We’ll learn the science of possession and try out a new nickname for our fans. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Detective Burns will live or die in Exorcist 3.
Dir. William Peter Blatty
Writer William Peter Blatty
Ket tells Kim about the Netflix hit CAM starring Madeline Brewer, Patch Darragh, and Melora Walters. We’ll learn about Kim’s history of dating baby ghosts and Kim will teach us the recipe for her kid-friendly meal: spinach in milk. We’ll dive into Kim’s esteemed career as a real hand model and Ket’s failed career as a foot model. And Ket will have to explain to Kim what a DVD store is. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in CAM.
Dir. Daniel Goldhaber
​Writers Isa Mazzei, Daniel Goldhaber
Kim tells Ket about The Orphanage starring Belen Rueda, Fernando Cayo, and Roger Princep. Kim will adamantly tell her that ‘double ding’ just isn’t gonna happen. Stop trying to make double ding happen, Ketryn! The girls will definitely get the theme to Growing Pains stuck in your head (you're welcome!) and Ketryn will be shamed by Kim about her fear of old wooden toys. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in The Orphanage.
Dir. Guillermo del Toro
Writer Sergio G. Sanchez
Ket tells Kim about the 2006 remake of Black Christmas starring Lacey Chabert,  Michelle Trachtenberg, and Oliver Hudson. We’ll learn about ancient pagan winter solstice rituals, the anatomy of eyeballs, and brothel laws of yore. We’ll use a new vocab word: ‘Kimming.’ But let’s be honest, both Kim AND Ket did their fair share of kimming back in the day. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Black Christmas
Dir. Glen Morgan
​Writers Glen Morgan, Roy Moore
​Kim tells Ket about Krampus starring Adam Scott, Toni Collette, and David Koechner. We’ll learn about how Ket unsuccessfully attempted to seduce Adam Scott and how Kim and Ket have every intention of seducing Toni Collette. We’ll get a horror movie within a horror movie when Ket discovers Kim’s mail pile. But most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in Krampus.
Dir. Michael Dougherty
​Writers Michael Dougherty, Todd Casey
Ket tells Kim about The Babysitter starring Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, and Bella Thorne. Ketryn will be betrayed by Kim when she learns something about Kim’s past she’d never heard before. The girls will also learn that the award they won for the movie they made together is a very useful weapon and Ket will get a girl boner (a 'vag-oner', if you will) for a blond girl. Meanwhile, Kim will come down, strongly, on the side of ‘anti-tarantulas’. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Babysitter.
​Dir. McG
​Writer Brian Duffield
Kim tells Ket about Happy Death Day starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, and Ruby Modine. We’ll take a walk of success through Kim & Ket’s college days and learn that babies are RUTHLESS! Ket will have an emotional breakthrough as she “Ebenezer Scrooges” with a stone-cold bitch. So grab your MGPF and let’s wish Kim a Happy Death (Birth)day! Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in Happy Death Day.
Dir. Christopher Landon
​Writer Scott Lobdell
Ket tells Kim about The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, and Leelee Sobieski. We’ll learn that there is a time limit on how long you can leave liquor with the girls before it done gets drunk… but not as drunk as poor little freshman, Sean (Don’t drink the ‘WhatNot’!). So grab your carrier pigeon as we follow ‘Icolas Age’ through Summersisle where he asks zero follow up questions. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in The Wicker Man.
Dir. Neil LaBute
​Writer Anthony Shaffer
Kim AND Ket tell their special guest Maya Stojan about the NEW Halloween, starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer and Andy Matichak. Though she didn’t have experience with Halloween while growing up in Switzerland,  we will learn that Maya’s ruthlessness knows no limits as she out ‘final girls’ us all! They’ll reveal their complicated relationship with “The Brits” and wish a very happy birthday to the OG Scream Queen,  Jamie Lee Curtis! Most importantly, we’ll find out if Maya Stojan would live or die in Halloween 2018.
Dir. David Gordon Green
Writers  Jeff Fradley, Danny McBride, David Gordon Green
​Kim tells Ket about Train to Busan, starring Gong Yoo, Jung Yu-mi, and Ma Dong-seok. Kim will try her hand, yet again, at scaring her cyber date, Adam. We’ll get a sneak peak at the girls’ new infomercial and  learn where zombies stand on gun control, all while getting our heart strings pulled by a 10 to 35 year old little girl. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket would live or die on the Train to Busan.
Dir. Sang-ho Yeon
Writer Park Joo-Suk, Yeon Sang-ho
Ket tells Kim about The Purge: Election Year starring, Elizabeth Mitchell and Frank Grillo… not Jon Bernthal. Depending on the results of OUR election, this telling will either be a tale of what we narrowly avoided OR a survival guide of what’s to come for us all! In which case, grab your bedazzled machine guns and  let’s get ‘schmacty!’ Most importantly, we’ll find out of Kim stays alive in The Purge: Election Year.
Dir. James DeMonaco
Writer James DeMonaco
Kim tells Ket about Trick ‘r Treat, starring Anna Paquin, Brian Cox and Dylan Baker. As usual, they will refer to exactly none of the characters by their correct names and they’ll focus ONLY on the most important plot points. They’ll take a visit to a “Wok” Quarry and, most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket would live or die in Trick ‘r Treat.
Dir. Michael Dougherty
Writer Michael Dougherty
Ket tells Kim about Suspiria (1977), starring Jessica Harper, Stefania Casini, and Flavio Bucci. We’ll get decorating tips like velvet’s not just for couches and how to give your house guests seizures! We’ll also confirm that wine IS medicine (Ket knew it!)... if your doctor is a psychopath. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim would live or die in Suspiria (1977)
Dir. Dario Argento
Writers Dario Argento, Daria Nicolodi
Kim tells Ket about Halloween (2007), starring Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, and Scout Taylor-Compton. We’ll find out how many times the girls can manage to bring up tacos while discussing brutal murders by an evil psychopath. They'll introduce a new character: the bell, used less for acknowledging correct answers and more for imitating classic SNL sketches. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket would live or die in Halloween (2007).
Dir. Rob Zombie
Writer Rob Zombie
Ket tells Kim about Ginger Snaps. starring Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle and Mimi Rogers. We’ll find out how Ket can’t pick bad movies even when she tries and takes pity on Kim’s faulty picker. We’ll learn about how Kim doesn’t believe in supervising children and Ket believes they should be on a leash at all times. We’ll discuss how getting your period is just like becoming a werewolf. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim would live or die in Ginger Snaps.
Dir. John Fawcett
Writer Karen Walton
Kim tells Ket about The Killing of a Sacred Deer, starring Nicole Kidman, Colin Farrell, and Barry Keoghan. We’ll find out how Kim faired as her own viewing partner. We’ll listen to Ket literally die of laughter (she’s a ghost now) and who Kim and Ket would kill if they had to. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket would live or die in The Killing of a Sacred Deer.
Dir. Yorgos Lanthimos
Writer Yorgos Lanthimos, Efthymis Filippou
Ket tells Kim about Deliverance, starring the late Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ned Beatty and Ronny Cox. We’ll find out if Kim murders a date that she thoughts was standing her up. We’ll learn about banjo boy, how to scale the cliffs of insanity, and Ketryn’s new found love with Burt Reynolds’ arms. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in Deliverance.
Dir. John Boorman
Writer James Dickey
Kim tells Ket about The Open House, starring Dylan Minnette and Piercey Dalton. We’ll find out if Ket has improved her staying alive skills. We’ll learn about Kim’s cyber date, with a Horror Movie virgin, and what to wear to a black tie bedtime. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in The Open House.
Dir. Matt Angel and Suzanne Coote
​Writers Matt Angel, Suzanne Coote
Ket tells Kim about The Skeleton Key, starring Kate Hudson, Peter Sarsgaard, Gena Rowlands and John Hurt. We’ll learn why Kim and Ket have brainwashed all their friends into mispronouncing the French word for ‘five.’ Kim will decide she’s NEVER going to work for Ket. And through very scientific methods they will determine what it would be like to sleep with Peter Sarsgaard. Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in The Skeleton Key.
Dir. Iain Softley
Writer Ehren Kruger
Kim tells Ket about I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House, starring Ruth Wilson, Paula Prentiss, and Bob Balaban. We’ll also get Part 2 of Kim’s date with Batman and remain utterly confused. Kim will officially announce her vendetta towards a kitchen chair and Ket’s ‘Dad jokes.’ Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House.
Dir. Oz Perkins
Writer Oz Perkins
​​Ket tells Kim about An American Haunting, starring Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, and Rachel Hurd-Wood. We’ll learn that Ket can always find a reason to get feisty about feminism, Sissy Spacek’s new nickname, and whether a killer cast and being based on a true story guarantees a killer movie. Most importantly, we’ll find out of Kim will live or die in An American Haunting.
Dir. Courtney Solomon
Writers Courtney Solomon, Brent Monahan
Kim tells Ket about The Boy, starring Lauren Cohen, Rupert Evans, and James Russell. We’ll learn about Kim’s date with Batman and whether he was, or was not, a serial killer. Did she even watch the movie? We’ll find out which of the girls is more likely to ‘drink the kool-aid.’ Most importantly, we’ll find out if Ket will live or die in The Boy.
​Dir. William Brent Bell
Writers Stacey Menear
Ket tells Kim about Green Room, starring the late Anton Yelchin, Patrick Stewart, and Alia Shawkat. We’ll learn about things like where their love of horror movies began, who their watching partners will (and won’t) be, how to ducktape an arm back together, and what exactly is a ‘butt boy’?  Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in the Green Room.
Dir. Jeremy Saulnier
Writer Jeremy Saulnier
Theme song is "Exhilarate" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/